Monday, March 7, 2011

Status Report 3/7/11

Hey 'yall,

     I'm glad you all (hopefully all of you, anyway) enjoyed my latest update. I would like to apologize in advance for the many, many tags. It is because I'm an awful person.

     Major props to whoever first suggested I add pictures of Hrothgar. I have several more, so expect it to be a normal occurrence. Once again I'm open to your ideas for my next post, so I encourage you to leave a comment. Or two. Or ten, whatever floats your boat.

     I'll try to start on Day 3 ASAP, but I can only guarantee that it'll be done by Saturday. Once again, thank you for your encouragement, suggestions, and continued support. As a little present I'll spam the Label box.

Happy thoughts,
Ryan the Dirt Poor Blogger
(Insert Signature Here)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Day 2

To whom it may concern,

     My entry may be for Day 2, but I have been here for many moons more than that. My captors, which I have learned are called "humans", continue to feed me dehydrated food, but I feel strong enough to perform necessary functions. These "humans" seem to have also kidnapped three small human-like creatures, which are referred to as "children".

     I am certain that they are kept to torture me for the amusement of the humans.

They call me Mittens. I'm disgusted.

     The children seem to enjoy beating me with their little sausage-paws. They call this "petting" I am petted throughout the day by the children, and occasionally by the humans. The children seem to like attaching strange things to my fur, as shown above. I'm fairly sure that these are mind-reading devices that make sure I have no plans of escape or rebellion. I do.

      I am always watching. When the humans are petting me, I'm watching, I sleep with one eye open. The humans may try to break my spirit by taunting me with the strange red dot that stops only when I can hardly breathe. As I collapse into a tired, useless lump on the ground, I am ready to attack at any moment.

     They may think that I have given up on trying to return to my life and my tribe, but I haven't.

                  Believe me, they will pay. I will sit here... plotting... waiting...

.... . .-.. .--.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Status Report 3/2/11


     I'm thrilled to see such a positive reaction to my first (and so far, only) post. I'll be fairly busy for the next few days, so you can expect an update Saturday or Sunday.

     But that's boring. I want to hear your suggestions for Day 2 of Hrothgar's diary. I'll check back in sometime this weekend and if I like any of the ideas I might just use one!

     Thanks, and remember: I love you. And I want to be with you.


Monday, February 28, 2011

Day 1

So cold. So alone.

     My name is Hrothgar. I am the leader of my tribe, a proud, mighty, race. We have been at war with the surrounding tribes for many moons. I think.

I was imprisoned for so long in that dark, damp place. There were many like me. I don't have the faintest idea how long I was there.

One day I awoke to something carrying me. I was dropped into a cage and transported to a strange new prison, full of large, shrieking animals that tried to attack me every chance they got.

Not long after I arrived was I transported to another strange place where I was stabbed brutally with sharp needles, castrated, and locked in a tiny cage. The next morning I found myself back in the strange prison with the shrieking animals.

They make me eat dehydrated food, probably depriving me to keep me under control. I feign sleep most of the day. Sitting. Plotting my escape.

Also, I'm a cat.